"Kilgore Trout once wrote a short story which was a dialogue between two pieces of yeast. They were discussing the possible purposes of life as they ate sugar and suffocated in their own excrement. Because of their limited intelligence, they never came close to guessing that they were making Champagne."
--Kurt Vonnegut, "Breakfast of Champions"
I hate to break it to all you I-couldn't-possibly-live-without-my-morning-gallon-of-coffee freaks, but I just can't keep this to myself any longer: Coffee does not go with breakfast! OK, maybe it goes with donuts, but certainly not with anything egg- or bacon-related.
And just which beverage does go with breakfast, you ask? Wine does. (And I'm not talking about sissy mimosas either.) Just think about it for a minute before you dismiss the idea and go back to your precious cup-a-joe. Let's say it's lunch or dinner time and you're having a slice of goat cheese quiche with a simple green salad on the side. What are you going to drink with it? Coffee? I don't think so. No, I think you'd wisely choose a crisp white wine and save the java for dessert. So why should it be any different in the morning?
Mind you, I'm not recommending that you start slugging down Merlot at 7 a.m. before work; I'm suggesting this more as a weekend breakfast enhancement. (A Wine Broad public service announcement.)
So which wines go best with a.m. vittles like pancakes and scrambled eggs? To find the answer, I gathered my bravest friends and set out in search of the ultimate breakfast wine.
We tasted five different wines with a variety of breakfast treats, including: sausage & leek frittata, apple-oatmeal pancakes, biscuits n' gravy, eggs benedict, Toaster Scramble (a scary Pop-Tart-like "pastry" filled with scrambled egg and cheddar cheese), Trix cereal and bacon. Let's just say it was a mighty interesting morning.
But before I start handing over the results of our experiment, let's take a minute to learn a little about the wines that were vying for the "Breakfast Wine of Champions" title.
THE WINES*
* Canyon Road Chardonnay (California) - A medium-bodied wine with hints of Sweet Tarts and vanilla.
* Ladoucette Comte Lafond (Sancerre, France) - A crisp and grapefuit-y Sauvignon Blanc.
* Gundlach Bundschu Pinot Noir (Sonoma Valley, CA) - A fruity red with berries and vanilla. Smooth tannins.
* Roederer Estate Brut Rose (Anderson Valley, CA) -- Strawberry Fields Forever: fizzy and fruity, but not sweet.
* La Poussie Rose (Sancerre, France) -- Very dry with extremely subtle flavors.
THE RESULTS
Sausage & Leek Frittata: Both the still and bubbly pinks were great with this dish, while the Pinot Noir barely passed the test.
Toaster Scramble: Chardonnay was the only recommendable match for this one. (If only someone would make Chardonnay in Pop-Tart form - then you'd be all set for the a.m. bus ride to work!)
Apple & Oatmeal Pancakes (topped with maple syrup): The Sauvignon Blanc *rocked* with the pancakes, which surprised the be-Jesus out of us. The sparkling rose was a close and tasty second.
Bacon: As one taster proclaimed, "The sparkling rose brings out the grease in the bacon--and that's good!" The Sauvignon Blanc was also a pretty good match.
Biscuits & Gravy: The Pinot Noir was actually decent with this, thanks to the sausage hunks lurking within the gravy.
Trix Cereal: That cartoon rabbit would go off Trix forever if he ever tried mixing milk, wine and ultra-sugary fake-fruit-flavored cereal. The Chardonnay was the least disgusting option.
Eggs Benedict: The Chardonnay was a yummy match for the buttery hollandaise sauce and egg yolks. It also went well with the Sauvignon Blanc, which cut through some of the eggs' richness.
THE CHAMPION
And the Breakfast Wine of Champions Award goes to.... The Roederer Estate Brut Rose sparkling wine (or, as Kilgore Trout would have called it, sparkling "yeast excrement"). All tasters agreed that this pink sparkler deserved the prize for its sheer versatility: It was delicious with damn near every breakfast food we unleashed on it.
So before you mindlessly reach for that coffee mug next Sunday morning, consider grabbing a wine glass instead. (Do you think they charge a corkage fee at IHOP?)
Here's an easy, wine-friendly recipe to get you started:
Leek, Red Pepper & Goat Cheese Scramble (serves 2)
Ingredients:
1 Tablespoon butter, divided
1 large or 2 small leeks (white part only), finely chopped
1 small red bell pepper, seeded and diced
4 large eggs
dash of milk
1 Tablespoon sour cream
1 ounce goat cheese, crumbled
salt and pepper
Melt 1/2 Tbsp. butter in a skillet over medium heat. Add leeks and red pepper and saute until softened. Remove veggies from pan and set aside; wipe pan clean with a paper towel. Beat eggs in a large bowl with a splash of milk until blended. Melt other 1/2 Tbsp. butter in skillet, add eggs and scramble. When eggs are almost set, stir in the cooked veggies, sour cream and goat cheese and cook a minute longer, until cheese melts. (Adding the veggies back in after the eggs are cooked keeps the mixture from turning gray and watery--trust me, it's worth the extra step!) Add salt and pepper to taste and serve with a glass of New Zealand-style Sauvignon Blanc.
(Note: This is an edited version of an article I wrote some years ago (which, sadly, never saw print), so I omitted the vintages. The wines are pretty consistent in style from vintage to vintage, though, so the results shouldn't be affected.)
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